1) I would like to be able to experience a disagreement or confrontation without spacing out and feeling ill. To realize that it is OK to get angry and to express anger and for others to do the same.
I've always kept everything inside. My daughter is the opposite - she's quick to react and quick to forget. I'm sure much healthier in the long run. But when she "loses" it - I can't deal with it. I feel physically ill. I realized last night at dinner (during such an event), that in my eventful childhood, I learned to check out to avoid the drama. And that's what I do now. I also internalize the drama of others. I "carry" my daughter's outbursts long after she has forgotten about them. My daughter finds it difficult to say she is sorry. Last night late into the evening, she kept coming to me with a question about this or that and I know it was her way of trying to make amends for her outburst at dinner. But I wasn't able to accept it - I was still cold and monosyllabic and pushing her away.
2) I would like to be able to experience physical touch, particularly intimate touch, without my abuse coming immediately to the forefront. Or if it does, to be able to recognize it and move out of it.
I'm actually proud that I've come up with something concrete. I'm not sure if the goals are reachable or what to do to reach them, but at least they are more specific.
Have others set specific goals for healing and/or therapy?