Wednesday, November 17, 2010


This one will be different - the first one without my mother. It seems odd already. Also, the date of her birth is this Sunday. And we are having a graveside service on Wednesday to inter her ashes. Lots of triggers in a short period of time.

I think I am still angry for everything that happened that she didn't stop at the time and swept under the rug after the fact. Angry that I can't confront her with it anymore. And sad - for the fact that I wasn't mothered in so many ways.

But - I am doing OK :) Tried to talk about some of this in therapy last night, but it's tough to express the emotions. I'm pretty sure my therapist doesn't realize how deeply I feel some things because my outward demeanor is so controlled.