Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Continuing for now

So yesterday was a good session. I vented all my frustrations from last week. I had written a post in my private journal summarizing everything. The good news is that she was aware on some level at some of the things that went awry. When I mentioned "doorknob moment", she got a smile on her face. I asked if she knew what I was going to say and she admitted that she knew the previous week that she had said something that didn't settle the right way. She could tell from the look on my face.

We talked a lot about boundaries. In some ways, I need rigid boundaries. I want to start on time and end on time. Or if we start late, I should get the 45 minutes due me. In other ways, I would like more lax boundaries :)

She warned me at the beginning of the hour that someone I know was moving into the office next to her. This feels like a violation of my space. This is a mother I know through school (who happens to be a social worker). We have dinner a couple times a year. We've talked about therapy (although not specifically mine). Now I will need to tell her about mine because I will see her there in her professional setting. The other thing that clouds the issue is social events. How would it work if T and I were at the same intimate social gathering hosted by this couple?

More fodder for next week. :)


  1. I find it so hard to wait for the next week to talk about things that happened this week, do you? It's frustrating! If I had issues with a friend, I would just call them later in the day or the next day to deal with them.

  2. Oh that sounds hard. It's like a forced break of confidentiality in some ways, although unavoidable. I guess you'd have to talk with T about how you might deal with meeting 'outside' therapy. I've had to do this a few times with mine for training events - it isn't easy!

    And Harriet - I don't wait! I can't, so I email. Otherwise things never get processed as they've gone by the time the next session comes and I've gone underground.

  3. I email too, but I try not to do it too much. I feel like a burden, even though my t tells me it's ok.

  4. Harriet - It is hard to wait at times. Sometimes I just want to pick up the phone and say "about what we talked about last night...." The fact that I can't helps to emphasize the difference between this relationship and friendship.

    Samesky - It does seem like a forced break in confidentiality. I'm not sure I've forgiven her yet for moving her office (used to be much more secluded - now in a large building full of therapists). Now someone I know is moving next door.

    I'll have to see how I feel about it.