Confiding in others

I think one of the hardest things about my three week break from therapy was the realization that my T is the only one I talk with about my past. Besides those involved, only two others know my history. One is hubbie and we don't talk about it (one of my areas of anxiety). The other is a long term close friend who lives 3000 miles away and has a busy life with young kids. So we don't talk often.

Although I had a great vacation - it seemed like my "internal chatter" was greater and got fairly negative by the end of my break. I'm thinking that is because I had no outlet for my thoughts since I can't call or email T. Well I could call if there was something big, but this was the "usual chatter".

That led me to think about friends who I might tell so that I might be able to unload when needed. I see a few issues with this -

1) you never know how it will be perceived

2) is it selfish to tell someone so that I can talk to them when necessary? Would I be attempting to use a friend as a therapist?

Any thoughts on this?

The Language of Therapists

Everyone jokes about how there must be a course "Illegible Handwriting" in medical school. I'm beginning to think there must be a "Therapist Language" course.

Beginning of yesterday's session -

Me: So did you miss me while I was gone? (after 3 week break)

She (chuckling a bit): What do you think? (with emphasis on you)

Me: I don't know - only you can tell me what you were feeling. (Pretty clever, I thought)

She: I noticed your absence. Although there might have been someone else sitting in the chair, I was fully aware that the 5:30 Tuesday is your time.

So - what do you think? Did she miss me?

All joking aside - the session was neutral - not great, not terrible. She commented once that she thought I was quieter than usual. It did seem like she did more talking than usual - but nothing really new.

Now we have another two week break............