I started this as a reply to a comment on my last post and decided I may as well convert it to a post.
At this point, I am not going to include many details at this point, although I may in the future. At this point, I am still processing the sessions. The actual process for me is not what I imagined. I thought it would be more of an extended time of "free association" where you start with a target and stay with that for awhile. With this therapist, each "target" is for a minute. After the minute, you relate your images, feelings, body feelings, etc. and from that she picks a target for the next minute. That goes on 10-12 times. For example, after one interval I said something like "I don't want to go to bed" and that was my next target. After that it might have been "my body is so tense" and that would be the next target. And so on. Periodically, you go back to the initial scene/target to judge the intensity.
I'm not sure I have completely relaxed into it. I have not been able to use the eye tracking bar because my eyes are so dry that I have to blink a lot. I am using sound instead - the earphones are loose so I hear extraneous noises.
It is interesting that the continued shift of targets does lessen the intensity of the initial target during the session. Although, in my case, the intensity has gotten greater with the other associations.
There is a "grounding" exercise at the end of each session. It's funny - I am not into "woo woo" and tend to be a huge cynic about visualizing things and calming exercises. I realize this has probably been part of my hard protective shell. The grounding exercises are relaxing. Yesterday's session was intense and near the end when she asked where I went, I replied "I need my white light".
It's been an interesting experience. I haven't had new memories except perhaps sensations of something happening. It's also been interesting experiencing a second therapist. The EMDR T is much more direct and challenges what I say (outside of the EMDR part). My regular T is more reserved and less directly challenging. I'm realizing there is a place for both techniques.
That's pretty much how my EMDR went as well. Except I used vibrating buzzers which I found relaxing in itself. I was always skeptical with the grounding exercises until I tried them.
ReplyDeleteI think its great that you are able to experience a couple of different styles of therapists.
inamaze - This T has the vibrating buzzers. but she has loaned them out. Yesterday I used my own earphones - they are much more noise canceling. I'm not sure it made a difference although they did filter out the extraneous noise. The process is not what I've imagined it to be although I have opened up on some things.
ReplyDeleteWe talked a little yesterday about how her style is different than my primary T. She commented that my primary T works with the transference that occurs, although she didn't specify how she works. I asked if she thought she was different with her primary patients. She said she probably discloses more with her primary patients. Interesting, I thought.
Hello just wanted to say that I will follow your blog and read your posts, its always nice to find fellow therapy sufferers :(
ReplyDeletegentleness
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Thanks for stopping by - I don't post very often. Too busy processing these days.
ReplyDeleteYes I understand that.
ReplyDeleteI've read a bit about this, but it's really interesting to read your personal experiences. Thanks for sharing :)
ReplyDeleteYou are welcome. As you can see - I haven't posted for a long time. I've been thinking of moving my blog to wordpress. I've been told it is difficult to leave messages on this one. Not sure if I am technologically savvy enough to figure out how to move. :))
ReplyDeleteHope you are well.