Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Disclosure and healing

Although much of the time, I don't feel like I have progressed much in the last year, when I sit and assess where I am today, I realize I have come a long way. Compared to a year ago when I first disclosed to my therapist I have -

1) Told my husband about my childhood abuse
2) Slept better - although I still don't feel well rested most days
3) Told one other friend about my abuse
4) Discussed things in this "anonymous" forum
5) Continued with therapy on a weekly basis
6) Read a lot about abuse and its effects

I feel like I am nearing another step in the process, because I am -

1) Thinking about who else I might share my story with. I was with two friends over the weekend, chatting about kids and life and I started wondering about what their reaction would be if I disclosed my abuse history to them.
2) I am seriously thinking about a dinner out with a friend that I might share my story with.
3) I am thinking of telling my 16 year old daughter.
4) I am thinking of bringing it up to my mother - I called her once last week and if she had been home, I am certain I would have asked her (in a non threatening way) about what she might tell me.
5) I came across a local support group that started recently. Almost like karma - I was at the hairdressers and saw the ad in the paper. I have emailed to ask about it and I have done some research on the founder of the group. I have considered this but am not sure I ready for the public.

Just wondering about others on their journey - have you shared your story with others? How did you choose your audience? Any advice on how to proceed?

I have a session today - this seems like a good topic to fill 45 minutes :)


  1. That does seem like amazing progress. When you do tell your friends and family please post to let us know how it goes. If they are truly your closest friends and family I can't help but think they will be supportive. I'm sure they will be surprised, especially those who have known you for a long time.

    I'm considering telling a friend that I'm in therapy and how I've been feeling for the past year, but I'm terrified to do even that. I give you a lot of credit - you've come so far!

  2. I frequently wonder whether or not I should tell my 14 year old daughter...
    I think she probably suspects some things, I honestly don't know how much I should say.

  3. Harriet - I did have a talk with my mother yesterday. Things are a bit raw and I'm not sure how much I will share. Thanks for your kind words. Sometimes these things take awhile to act on - I've been working up the nerve to ask my mother for about 6 months - yesterday I picked up the phone and did it.

    Quacks :) - Thanks for stopping by. My daughter just turned 16 - and I will tell her some day - how do you think yours would respond? And why do you think she suspects something?