Saturday, December 12, 2009

Odd Pseudo Dream

Something quite odd happened to me last night. Before going to sleep, I picked up (yet another) book on abuse survivors (Secret Survivor) and was perusing it. I am starting to think about my lack of so many memories and wondering if they will surface. And if I want them to. And what I will do if they surface. At any rate, I was exhausted and fell into a deep sleep.

About an hour later, I "woke" up as my husband was coming to bed. I looked at him and saw him, but asked him "What are you doing here? What are you doing?" Although I was seeing his face, I'm thinking I was thinking he was my abuser. He was amused - "Uh - I'm getting ready for bed like I do every night. Putting my clothes in the hamper."

I'm sure I wasn't fully awake, although it registers in my mind that I *knew* he was my husband. And it only took a matter of minutes before I realized where I was. I don't remember any *dreams* before waking up. Odd and unsettling.

I had to go to work this morning while the family was still asleep. Will need to have that conversation to tell hubby that I am sure this was related to my past abuse.


  1. That does sound unsettling, I hope you were able to get back to sleep. That weird place between awake and asleep is where funky things happen.

    Oh, and totally off topic - I've been knitting! Every day! Thank you for motivating me.

  2. It *was* unsettling. Brought it up with hubby this weekend and he thought it was humorous - until I told him who I thought he was.

    Yea on the knitting! What are you working on now? I finished my second pair of socks for the daughter and have started one for the son (at his request). It is relaxing. You'll have to take some photos (you do that so well :). There are some gorgeous yarns out there right now.

  3. I have made it a point to never read possibly triggering information past 8PM. I just noticed so many bad things happened afterwards that it just had to be stopped (just like caffeine at night).

  4. Good advice Paul - this has never really happened before to me. Right now, for me, the more I experience, the better I think. Gets it out to be dealt with.