Something quite odd happened to me last night. Before going to sleep, I picked up (yet another) book on abuse survivors (Secret Survivor) and was perusing it. I am starting to think about my lack of so many memories and wondering if they will surface. And if I want them to. And what I will do if they surface. At any rate, I was exhausted and fell into a deep sleep.
About an hour later, I "woke" up as my husband was coming to bed. I looked at him and saw him, but asked him "What are you doing here? What are you doing?" Although I was seeing his face, I'm thinking I was thinking he was my abuser. He was amused - "Uh - I'm getting ready for bed like I do every night. Putting my clothes in the hamper."
I'm sure I wasn't fully awake, although it registers in my mind that I *knew* he was my husband. And it only took a matter of minutes before I realized where I was. I don't remember any *dreams* before waking up. Odd and unsettling.
I had to go to work this morning while the family was still asleep. Will need to have that conversation to tell hubby that I am sure this was related to my past abuse.