Tuesday, February 23, 2010

An aha moment

Man I am an epic fail at this blogging thing - my last post was December 21. I haven't been writing in my private journal either. Perhaps my T is right - I am in avoidance mode now.

At any rate - I've been thinking a lot about issues related to trust and power lately. I've had some conflict lately with my teen daughter over studying, grades, etc. She is so much more self confident than I was at her age (perhaps even now in some areas) almost to the point of being defiant. Thinking about it this weekend, I thought that her defiance (which is really individualization) is triggering for me. And I wondered if that is because I am angry at my own "inner child" for not being more defiant and standing up to the abuse. Now, I am not big on "inner child" work - probably because it involves feelings. I've also never thought that I blamed myself in the past - but maybe I am on some level. Having a strong confident daughter has brought that out in me.

Food for therapy today.

Oh - and things are much better with the daughter now - she's one of those get it out in a dramatic way and then move on. I'm the ruminator who dwells on the same things over and over. It was good to hear what she was feeling and clear the air.



  1. Avoiding feelings, huh? Not heard that one before ... ;)

    This is a really interesting insight. Glad you are able to see what is happening for you here. And SO glad things are better with daughter :)

  2. Great insights! I don't have an inner child, not one I ever want to have anything to do with anyway. Your daughter sounds very emotionally healthy, I never have been one of those people who can just move on. Hope it goes well in therapy today!

  3. Uh Harriet - your comment "I don't have an inner child, not one I ever want to have anything to do with" made me smile - I think that's true for many of us. And therapy did not go so well. :(

    Samesky - Yep - I'm a master a avoiding feelings.