Tuesday, January 18, 2011


So - my T and I came to an agreement about this and she gave me the go ahead to call another T last week. Of course, I know I could have done this on my own without the blessing of my T. I mentioned this once and got a very defensive reaction from my T.

At any rate, I met with the EMDR doc last night for the first session. This was basically a session where I told her part of my story (not many details at this point). We talked about where I was in my talk therapy at this point. We talked a bit about what I wanted to accomplish with EMDR. This was easier to talk about than I thought it might be. The goals seem so broad - not like checklist items, but she seemed to think they were good ones.

So - I liked her. As we talked and as I processed things afterwards, I thought about why I liked her and compared some things to my current T. For one, she had more facial expressions - seemed less reserved. Second, she voiced some opinions or at least validations in a way I hadn't heard before. And she asked questions.

Now - I know this might not have been a "usual" therapy session. It was our first one and it was in preparation for use of a specific tool. She is the consultant not the primary T. I may ask her if she thinks her approach is different in this setting than in her "routine" therapy.

I think this will be tricky for me. I met with my T tonight - she didn't know about the appt because it came up unexpectantly due to a cancellation. I'm sure I was projecting some of my feelings on her, but there definitely seemed to be a change in her demeanor. I wonder if she will find it difficult to share my care. And it will be hard for me not to compare them - I just hope I don't say anything that my T finds insulting.

I also need to make a decision as to whether I want my T there for the actual EMDR sessions. At first I thought it would be important for her to be there and comforting for me. Now, I'm not so sure.


  1. My hunch is that if you feel comfortable with the EMDR therapist already then your current T might actually make things harder and more uncomfortable rather than easier.

  2. This is kind of like my t and my pdoc. Sometimes we get into patterns with our t's and we are somewhat immune to problems. It's good to have a third party to compare to, to bounce ideas off of, just to stir the pot a bit. I think my t got defensive when I told him about a great session I had with my pdoc. They must be very possessive of us!

  3. I wonder if your t was there with you if she would somehow become part of the process. I guess what I mean by that is would you be checking her responses and body language against what is happening within the sessions. (just a thought) It might complicate things within EMDR sessions. I'm glad you liked the EMDR therapist.

  4. Samesky - not sure what you mean - do you think my current T might be jealous of the new T? She sent me there! We don't have a perfect relationship due to my trust issues, but I have felt a better connection of late. I will have to bring this up in the next session - I have a session with her before the EMDR T.

    Harriet - I think that because there are obvious differences in styles between therapists. My current T, although more reserved in some respects, seems warm and I know she cares about me and what happens to me. I think I trust the EMDR therapist in part because my T sent me to her. If she trusts her, than I can to. You know what I mean?

    inamaze - next week I will bring up whether she should go along with me. We had decided up front that she didn't need to go with me for the introductory sessions. I think some of her demeanor change had to do with the fact that she didn't know I was meeting with the EMDR T. I have some concern about her being with me in the EMDR sessions - I am concerned about what might happen and how I will respond. I think I might be embarrassed by having her there. At least something to talk about in the next session. I need her to still be the understanding person I can trust and not be distant. I think it will be hard to navigate this.

  5. [Grr, stupid blogspot lost my comment so here it is again...]

    I'm with Same Sky, I think I would feel more awkward with the two Ts there. Not for any reasons about the jealousy, but because I'd feel like the odd one out, or like I was putting them both out, or something weird.

    Good on you for doing this. It's never easy starting up with someone new. I really hope the EMDR works for you. :)

  6. Hi OLJ,

    I don't think that I would want both therapists present. I just read other people way too easily and that might interfere with the process for me, I would need to be able to focus on myself rather than taking care of others, and that would be a big issue for me.

    It sounds as though your therapist has some issues with it all; and that would be natural, even if she did send you there.

  7. Kerro and Kate -
    I'm not sure how it will proceed, but I'm thinking that I will at least do the first "real" session without my T there. Part of me doesn't want my T to see me in the EMDR session - less filtered than in therapy.

    In some respect I think having her present though would make it easier because she would be hearing all the conversation and seeing the interactions. I wouldn't feel like I am in the middle.

    Something I am sure we will talk about tomorrow.

  8. I think whatever makes you comfortable is what matters most. You can start the EMDR sessions and then invite your T to them at a latter time just you said to Kerro and Kate above. I've heard EMDR works wonders for PTSD and anxiety. I hope you will find the same results.